Love me, for me...

The other week at MOTS (Mothers of Toddlers), we were discussing our husbands.  How to honor them and in that discussion our speaker was talking about not trying to make our husbands act like women.  They don't think the same way, they are designed differently and thank God!  He knew what He was doing... if you don't believe be, go watch the Harvard Sailing Team post I have.
It was a big realization for me.  It is something you know, but don't really get...and more importantly get frustrated by it.  I always wonder how, why or what my husband is doing sometimes.  I tell him how to drive, I get frustrated at the way he does things,  all those little things that you love about him, but then drive you nuts too.  That make you act, like you shouldn't act.  Then one of the wives at our table was talking about her son.  She said, with tears in her eyes, that she wants her son to be loved.   She wouldn't wish a life of a nagging, distant wife.  She would want her son to be appreciated, loved and respected.  She was pretty sure her Mother-in-Law didn't want her son to live with out love.
Sometimes it takes that perspective, to get out of your own self centeredness, to see the other side.  To realize that MY way isn't the only way...it's just my way.  That my husband wants to be loved, to be appreciated.  He wants affection and acceptance.  Don't we all?
It is one thing to strive for your best, want the best for those in your family, and it is another to change who they are.  Losing the essence of them,  squashing their spirit and in the end driving a wedge between them and you.  I am not talking just about husbands but our children and other loved ones.  Those that know me, know my struggles with Jillian.  My sweet girl who makes me cry with laughter and cry with frustration.  I want what is best for her, but am I trying to change her to fit into MY world?  My right brained, scheduled, and controlled world?  Expecting my husband to think and react like me....a girl????
I heard this song, that is playing on the blog, on the radio and the chorus really spoke to me.  Who will love me, for me??  Not for what I have done, or who I'll become.  Well this is just a few things that my husband is...

Protector and provider:

Father:

Friend:

And my sweet Jillian...

Daughter:

Dreamer:

Sister:

Fashionista:

Silly:

Trying to love them, for them..

Harvard Sailing Team - Boys Will Be Girls

Writer's block

Well, it has been a week and a day since my last post and I am trying my hardest to update the blog at least once a week.  It is after all for my husband.  Who can't be with us and share in the daily chaos that I get to enjoy (there may be a bit of sarcasm there).  I want him to see what the girls are doing on a daily basis and to see how they are growing and basically what we are up to.  The problem is, to start writing.  I don't really have anything to say other than I am tired.  We had our usual week, busy and filled.  I think up until about a week ago the daily grind was quite manageable but enters in Christmas.  My favorite time of year, but the most exhausting.
The week starts off by running to Target to get lights, that I bought last week, that are now even more on sale.   Followed by a trip to the Commissary on Tuesday and another trip to Target on Wednesday (oh and Jimbo's on Monday night during dance).   Juliet is starting to figure out (or trying to...it doesn't always work) that when she is done sitting in the cart that she can throw a huge fit, and mommy will vacate the store.  So shopping trips have to be efficient.  So what would you say if you found out the commissary had been recently totally redone?  So my efficiency was now reduced to controlled chaos.  Oh did I mention it was the day before a pay period??
So after three days of shopping, the housework neglected, dance and gymnastics, we find ourselves at this very cool park (Old Poway Park) where we are to meet a photographer who has offered to give us a free portrait because our spouses are deployed.  The architecture and lighting are beautiful here and I got some great shots of Jillian.  Thankfully for me she loves to pose for pictures.  It makes practicing easier.

After meeting with the photographer, we head home for a quick bite to eat and then off to AWANA.  After getting home and getting the girls in bed I am thankful that we don't have anywhere to go on Thursday and I am worried that Juliet may be coming down with something.  We have the Farmer's Market but we don't HAVE to go.  Thursday is our normal day.  Early dismissal (almost forgot) and playtime outside, then Farmer's Market.  It is a beautiful day so instead of having Jillian do her homework first, I decided to let the girls play.  It is just too nice to be inside.
So I was wrong, Juliet wasn't coming down with something, Jillian was.  I was suspicious because her behavior this week hasn't been her like her "usual" self.  She was much more snippy and whiney.  So no school for Jillian on Friday.  Which I am actually happy about....kind of.  I still need to clean this house up and I wanted Friday Field Day.  It was nice not having to rush off in the morning and just relax (plus Juliet had me up between 2:00 - 2:45 and Jillian at 5:00 and I was beat).

Of course, after giving Jillian some Advil, she was bouncing all over the walls.  Doing cartwheels and acting like herself...until the medicine wore off and she actually took a NAP!  Later in the night it was quite evident that she was SICK, but it wasn't until Saturday morning that I knew with what.
Bark, Bark went Jillian this morning.  Croup...great!  How long before the others get it.  Once again the Advil, makes things all better and off we head to pick up our Christmas tree at the elementary school.  When we arrive, the PTA president and one of my neighbors, says...we were going to bring your tree to you!  It is so nice to have people look out for you while your hubby is away.  We pick out our tree and I realize that it isn't too heavy and I think I can manage this just fine on my own.  After getting the tree loaded on the van by some nice dad, we head home.

We had a full day of putting up the tree, hanging the lights on the tree and getting out some of the Rudolph village..

Then I got out the Nativity.  That was my favorite job growing up.  I would play with it for hours.  Rearranging all the pieces and wondering where my mom hid the Baby Jesus.  So now, with delight I watch as Jillian unwraps each piece and sets them in the manger that my dad built.

Jenevieve, seeing the Nativity set up asks if we can pray in front of the Nativity.  Of course!  It took me a a minute, but Jenevieve wanted ME to say the prayer.

While Juliet was taking a nap I decided to tackle the outside.  I had most of the bins down and want to clean them all up at the end of the day.  As I look through them, I am realizing that I am missing a lot of stuff!  Theses are the moments that I am unhappy about being a military spouse.  I started the morning off being proud about being able to mange most things while my husband was away, but now I am frustrated.  Too many moves and not being able to communicate with your husband was trying my patients.  Press on!!  I start to hang the lights, while Juliet couldn't dismantle anything else..and I have to move quick.

So after getting up some lights outside, and hearing Juliet up, I bring her downstairs to see.

I think I took a hundred photos today and I am thinking of a creative way to put them together.  To include my husband in our holiday adventures, so that he doesn't feel like he is completely missing out.  That he can be there by proxy.
Well, with nothing to really say, and lots to be seen I am beat.  Tomorrow will be filled with decorating the tree and hopefully getting the house picked up.

Giving Thanks...

This Thanksgiving was spent at a friends house.  Originally she had thought it would be nice for us to get together seeing that my husband wasn't here to celebrate and she knows what it is like to be away from family during the holidays.  That WAS the plan.  Then it turned out, a lot of the people in the neighborhood get together and do a pot luck...and it was her turn.

So the day before I went over to help set up.  Her husband was supposed to be working late and there was lots to be done.  So over I went with my three girls in tow.  Thankfully Jillian and Jenevieve had playmates and were distracted by the bouncy house, while Sydney and I moved furniture...a lot.  After moving the couch three times, the recliner twice, tables moved a few and other things arranged, it was time to decorate (and our bodies needed a break).

Juliet was down for a nap so this was a perfect time to get our creative juices flowing.  The original plan of flowers on the table quickly went out the window...so now what?  After some milling around the house and dismantling of Sydney's house we came up with what I thought was great.  A simple yet sophisticated table..that someone said looked straight out of Pottery Barn.  What a great compliment, but it does help that some of the items are in fact from Pottery Barn (Sydney has great taste).  So with brown packing paper, two lanterns, a glass vase filled with some random stuff, the table started coming together.  A few more pumpkins and some corn and the table was set.  Now time to actually put the dishes and the glasses.

So after Juliet got some snuggling with a guy in a flight suit in (C. L. came home in his flight suit and I handed her to him, and she put her head down on his shoulder for almost five minutes)  and we have a quick dinner, we head home because I have to make the cheesecake for the Thanksgiving.  Forgetting once again, that it takes an hour and a half to bake...I got off to a VERY late start.  So I stayed up until after eleven and passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Thanksgiving is finally here and the girls keep asking when it is time to leave....all morning long.  After a few meals and a few naps and quick playtime outside, we are off.  We arrive almost twenty minutes later than I wanted to arrive (and had a few items they still needed).  The big kids immediately take off to the bouncy house and aren't seen again until dinner.

All three girls did great and were patient when waiting for their plates to be prepared and then later on when making their Thanksgiving mix (that was only the older two), I couldn't have been prouder. 

Sydney was surrounded...

Vieve patiently waiting.

Juliet, being held by Missy, so I could take some photos

Jillian showing off her "one car garage"

 Juliet couldn't stand being separated from the kids.  As soon as she could she was down and in the kitchen where the kids tables were.  She would climb up into an empty chair and either just sit, or see if there was anything good to eat.

After dinner some of the parents had out the ads for the next day and making their plans for Black Friday.  For many reasons I opted not to go out this year, maybe just a little online shopping.  As I see the tiredness pass over my girls (and me) we are party poppers and leave at my kids bedtime.  The girls were exhausted from all the jumping and swinging and freezing (it was pretty cold out).  Tomorrow...Christmas decorating!!

Friday came and went.  There wasn't any decorating.  Mom was exhausted!!  Just an easy day of playing inside, playing out and Friday Night Movie Night!

So Saturday, I am feeling more energetic.  So four loads of laundry done, dishwasher run and emptied, kids fed, kitchen clean, bathrooms cleaned and now I can hit my Christmas decorating.

This is our first Christmas in this house, so now the questions start.  Where do I put this, where do I put that?  After pulling out only a couple of things and figuring out where to put them, I need to practice taking pictures for the class I am taking online (plus I got a new lens that was delivered this morning!).

 

So thank you for reading and looking.  I have so much to be thankful for and we are so blessed.  The only thing that would have made this Thanksgiving better was to have my hubby here....next year!

getting into the Spirit

As Thanksgiving is drawing near, it means that it almost time to pack up the fall decorations and break out the Christmas decor...my favorite time of year.
 Last week closed with my bi-monthly MOPS meeting.  We were talking about different family traditions.  There is big (not huge, but some are VERY against it) controversy about having Santa apart of the Christmas celebration.  I am lucky enough to be at a table with a few Catholics, and others who include him.  Some people view him as pagan...I see him as a remembrance of St. Nicholas, a fourth-century bishop.  He was the son of wealthy parents who died when he was young.  It has been said that he had gave freely to people in need.  The legend of his generosity has been linked to the gift-giving Santa that we know today.
While in my MOPS meeting, Jenevieve (and Juliet) have a lesson they learn.  They have been learning about the different miracles that Jesus performed.  During todays meeting they learned how Jesus fed 5,000 people and as a result of his generosity the kids were to show some generosity.  They decorated brown bags for the "Brown Bag Ministry".  We were instructed to fill the bag they decorated with different items and give to someone in need.  So off we marched to Target to fill our bag.  Since Juliet isn't quite old enough to participate, Jillian was more than eager to help out.  She looked at the list of suggestions and read them off to me and helped pick out some of the items.  We are almost finished, we just need to pick a day and make a sandwich and put it in the bag.  So I had Jillian put our items in the bags.  When Jenevieve saw the bags packed she became very upset at her sister.  She started asking about the card that we were including and she started insisting that was HER bag, and that her teachers told her it was hers.  She pointed to the stickers on it that said "Through Jesus' Miracle feeding the 5,000 we understand His Power to Feed".  She said "see.....that says 'Jenevieve'."  It was funny to see her so fired up.  After a quick reminder of what we are doing and reminding her of Jesus' miracle she was then happy to participate.
I encourage you, or challenge you to do something for someone in need.  I would love to take my kids to a homeless shelter or soup kitchen, but with Juliet that isn't possible.  So this is one way that I can show my family the importance of this season.  Performing charitable works is a way to observe Advent.
What is Advent??  Many non-Catholics (and probably many Catholics) don't know what it is, and some of they symbolism behind it.
Advent is the beginning of the Church calendar year.   It is four weeks long and commemorates the coming of Jesus to Bethlehem.   We prepare for his final coming at the end of the world and celebrate his coming into our hearts today.
The most common symbol for Advent is the Advent wreath.  It is a circle, formed by evergreens, which is a symbol of eternal life.  It has three purple candles symbolizing our time of waiting, our time or repenting, our time of preparing for the Lord.  Its pink candle represents a time for rejoicing as we move closer to Christmas.  The light cast from the candles reminds us of Jesus, the Light of the World.
Somewhere on this blog I am going to include one of the Advent wreath that Jenevieve made and some things to daily during the Advent season.
As we head into the hustle and bustle of this holiday season, let us not forget what it is about.  It is easy to get wrapped up in all the stress of the season, but is that what you want your kids to remember??  Make this season about giving, without stressing, about spending time with our families, and enjoying it. God gave us the greatest gift, His Son, but all our kids really want is our time.  Presents luster fades quickly, but the time spent with our kids glows forever.

Grandma's Feather Bed

Whew!!! This has been one crazy busy week!  Between dance, gymnastics, AWANA, doctors visits and MOTS (which is more of a renewal than a drain) I was sure happy to see the weekend.  I was so worn out we didn't even make it to the farmer's market on Thursday, which we haven't missed...rain or shine.  So Saturday is OUR day...to do nothing or do something.
Now this particular Saturday was a cold, rainy day.  Juliet had cried a couple of times through the night but had gone back to sleep, but she woke up before 6am and she is right across from Jillian...who desperately needs her sleep.  So, I scoop her up and bring her into bed with me where we snuggle.  Neither of us is really ready to be up..but we are up, but we are going to snuggle.
Evidently I wasn't fast enough to get Juliet, because I hear Jillian in her room.  I hear Jillian turn on her light, maybe go to the bathroom (which I find out later she didn't) but she stays in her room and Juliet and I snuggle.  I try to soak in her size, how she feels laying with me.  She is small yet big.  Will I remember???  I try to remember the other girls, because I have done the same thing...try to soak them up.  The fear sets in that I wont remember...then it is 6:45...
Jillian comes bounding into my room, full of energy.  "Mom..it's 6:45 can I get up?"  I tell her that she can climb into my bed.  It is way too cold and I don't want to get up yet and Juliet is happy to comply (so is Jillian).  Then I think, Jenevieve is probably up and she wont come get me, so I send Jillian to get her.  So before I knew it, we are all piled in my bed.  Ahhhh!  All my girls in one place all snuggled with me.  I would like to think they are fighting over who wants to lay next to me, but Juliet gets that honor.  As I lay there I am enjoying my family, wondering how it would be if my hubby would be there.  They would probably be climbing all over him.  Peace.
Josh and I have been very big on not encouraging attachment style parenting.  We really don't let our kids sleep in our bed, yet I find it funny how much they want to..especially Jillian.  What is it about our bed that they find so appealing??  Is makes me start to think about the John Denver's song "Grandmother's Feather Bed".  I just love that song, and enjoy John Denver.  Have I been too strict?  Have we been missing out?  Have they?  I was thinking that Juliet enjoyed our time so much that she cried when I put her to bed and after several hours, as soon as I went to bed she cried too.  So I brought her into my big feather bed and helped her fall asleep (it was too cold to stand there and rub her back as I would normally do).  When I put her back in her bed she wasn't happy, so I knew it was time to turn on the heat (literally...the temp was 69 degrees in her room, which evidently she doesn't like)
As much as I enjoy having them in my bed, it is not theirs.  It is Josh's and mine that they can come visit in the morning and I look forward to the memories of mom AND dad in their feather bed....
Miss you babe, almost half way

time.....

Well, so much for my daily or weekly updates.  It has been almost two weeks since my last update and I have to say we haven't done much, but we have been busy.  In my defense...I was waiting for my busy husband to read and see the Halloween post which took a few days and then I was in the throws of a busy week.
So what do we do????

We play outside.

Jenevieve has become quite the daredevil on her bike.  I am waiting for the trip to the ER any day...lucky for me she is quite coordinated and can handle the high speeds that she generates and the tight corners.  I can't believe in has only been a few short weeks since she learned.  When we take Jillian to school she usually rides her bike and does great.  I am usually hustling to keep up with her.  She also has started riding Jillian's razor and has gotten quite good at it.  It was only a few short months ago when she was having difficulty balancing on it and went back to her three wheeled scooter.  Not anymore..she is off.  She also learned how to swing well this week...something has clicked and she is on fire.  Her gymnastic coach is VERY impressed.  She just needs to get over her fear of the balance beam and skies the limit...she will do it in Jeneveive time.

Jillian has been trying to catch a rabbit that has been killing the neighbors grass and that was trapped in their back yard (and then ours) but is now free.  She set up a trap filled with carrots and checked it every day until the box mysteriously disappeared...the rabbit took it..so she says.  She likes to rider her bike around, or her scooter or big wheel, what ever is available.  What I love the most is to watch her run...it is indescribable..she is just good at it.   I am starting to see that big kid in her..the one when I look at my niece.  She is getting big this year.

I thinks if we don't get outside, Juliet will explode.  She is enjoying the freedom of walking now.  She roams all over the place, steals the kids snack or drinks and the most fun she has is pushing the bigwheel around.

She is already starting to participate in the kids games.  Tonight the girls and poor Dash were going in a circle to the "drive-thru" where Jillian was handing out "samples"...or zamples and Jenevieve says.  She followed in line and waited for her turn.

She loves to "chat" with Elin (the neighbor's six-month old) but also follow the big kids.  She also has taught herself how to climb on her rocking horse and rock out...speaking of rocking out...she LOVES music.  All I have to do is pick up the guitar and start strumming..and she starts "dancing".  Outside she has figured out that the "Mustang" has music and hits the buttons and enjoys when the music starts.  She starts the head bob followed by the deep squats. 

So time....it flies, it stands still, it boggles the mind.  Walking into Jenevieve's room while she was sleeping I stood there looking at her legs...they are long, and thin and muscular...they are big kid legs.  When did this happen?  When did my baby start walking and turn into a toddler and start running?  She gets going so fast that she skips on one leg when taking a corner..sometimes she makes it, sometimes not.  But she stands right back up and keeps going.  Nothing is going to stop her.

Jillian looks more and more like a BIG kid every day.  She makes her own lunch, helps with the little ones (sometimes too much..we are working on it) and astounds me with the knowledge she is obtaining and retaining.

I am so blessed to be able to watch them grow..to change, to learn about God.  Jenevieve talks about Him all the time...I just love it.  Jillian wanted to get a devotional Bible today..of course it was pink and had a crown on it, but she read it the whole way home.  I just love watching their relationship evolve with the Lord.  You may ask why I am going on and on about this, but one thing I am really coming to grips with is that deployment is a LOT harder on my spouse than it will be on me.  He is missing the goodnight kisses, the tidbits of knowledge learned from the day, the group hugs...Juliet will go up and hug and kiss her sisters...such a love!  I may have the day in, day out tiresome list of tasks to do, but I get to watch our beautiful children grow and mature.  There are times when I blink and they have changed...how will it be for him?  He will come home and they may have changed ten times over since he left, and I am privileged enough to witness it.

I keep promising myself that I will somehow keep him in touch with the girls lives, but I have failed this week and I am sorry Josh.  I will try to do/be better and that is all I can do.  

Here are a few pictures from today when the girls had "Thanksgiving".

The feast begins

My girls and "Sydney Lee" at the table

I asked the girls what they were doing..they said they were having Thanksgiving.  Juliet climbed right up in "her" chair and joined in..

They were "full"

  Juliet has starting diving on the soft chairs.  She gets a running start and dives and is so proud of herself...where did the time go???