Hey, I just met you and this is crazy...

Normally this is something I would face at the beginning of a new school year, but we actually aren't moving this year and I had to register my youngest for Kindergarten.  Going through all the registration forms was the dreaded Emergency Contact form.  As my military friends know, the fear doesn't stem from the actual emergency itself.  In many cases it is, "I wonder if this person will mind if I put them down on this form" or IF we actually know anyone to put down in the first place.

I realized as I filled out my form I am going to have to update my three other kid's forms again this year, as another friend is moving, same as last year.  Thankfully time at a duty station gives you the ability to build a network to pull from, to add to that list.  First arriving at a new duty station, that is a different story.

I vividly remember moving to a new duty station, across the country far from family and friends.   I had a 3 month old and a 3 year old.  The 3 year old had previously been in school in our last duty station, so I signed her up at our new location.  Then they put the form in front of me.  Who can we contact in case of an emergency...crickets.  I knew no one.  Not a soul.  When we moved to  our previous duty station I knew one person, I didn't realize that one person can make a huge difference. Because here I am, with a blank form and a blank mind.

Then I thought about the woman who came to check out our floor plan (as these were new houses lucky me) and our hubbies we going to work together.  She was a mom with two kids, one my oldest age. My hubby spoke highly of hers.  So, should I ask her?  What is she going to think of me?  I just met her!!  They seem like good people and their kids are alive and thriving, one is the same age.  She's going to think I am a horrible mother trusting my precious children with a stranger. Gulp....

"Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but can I put you down on my emergency contact form."

The response came immediately, no awkward pause, no let me think about it.  An immediate YES and can I put you down on mine was the reply.

Relief!  What I feared what would be met with was judgement was met with a sigh of relief, understanding and acceptance.

This wasn't the last time this has happened.  This happens often in military life.  We make friends quickly. Our kids make friends quickly.  We learn to trust our inner voice on who is safe and who is not.  We have to.  We move too much and too far to not trust our instincts.  One of our duty stations was 10 months long across the country to and across the country from we go ping ponging coasts as we went, never knowing who we are going to meet on the flip side.  Time moves fast.

So for all my non military friends, please don't think us a weird bunch.  Especially if we immediately ask to put you on our list.  It doesn't mean we are really desperate, it means we saw something in you in our brief interaction that made us feel that we could ask and we could really use the help.  So thank you.  Thanks to all those non military friends that let us dive right into your lives, to make you like family and of course put you on our emergency contact list.

I have made it a point, because I remember that initial fear the first time I had to ask, that when I meet a new spouse who has just moved here and doesn't know many (if any) people ...

"Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but please feel free to use me on your emergency contact list".  

jackie

 

I will not get excited....

2235 on some random Friday in November....


I will not get excited
I will not get excited
I will not get excited.

For anyone who has had a loved one be redeployed via an older aviation platform knows, BE FLEXIBLE.  These airplanes are old, we have flown the crap out of them (by we I mean the military which while I don't hold rank, I fully am apart of), and now they have to make the long trek home.... 


I will not get excited.


It was about four hours ago.  I looked at my clock and said to myself, they are getting ready to brief their flight home.  Their flight HOME!!!!


I will not get excited.


I sat their envisioning them.  Getting together, doing their brief (which I have no clue how it really looks other than TV), walking to their aircraft, doing the walk around, climbing in their jets and then.....

I am catapulted to over six months ago.  Under the darkness of night we gathered.  I walked into a ready room, that holds no familiarity for me (my hubby is among those who was moved to this unit weeks before it deployed).  It was strange walking in there, the unfamiliar.  Looking for a face I recognize.  It wont be my hubby, he's busy working.  The wives are all so new to me.  Which is strange.  My husband and I have been together since the beginning and we are in our 19th year with the Marine Corps....and I feel new.  Finally I see him and is time to walk... by walk I mean out to the airplane.

We said our goodbyes at home and he drove himself in.  He wasn't expecting me.  I didn't know how the kids were going to take it and with the late take off, I just wanted to focus on the kids.  We chose this life...they were drafted.

We head out of the ready room.  Take a few photos and then say our final goodbye.  As I write this, it has been over six months...I couldn't tell you what I ate for dinner yesterday, but I remember this as clear as day.  It feels like it was 6 weeks ago not months.



He walks to his jet.  I don't see him climb in.  It's too dark and too far away from where we gathered.  I am also distracted...

How can I be distracted?!?!

Because about a handful of F-18s were starting up.  It is a sound I have heard, and have missed, and have loved and ironically never hated for over a decade.  I hear it, it sounds like a song.  It starts off at a low mid range note and drops to a low tone and then slowly climbs up the scale.  Its the sound of the generator that starts the F-18.  A sound that I have longed to hear.  Due to cuts, other issues, things I wont even touch on....I don't hear this sweet sound enough.  Here I am listening to multiple generators going off one on top of another.  Sweet music.  It is the sound of warriors.  Heroes.  Hours upon hours of hard work to get all those jets up.  It sound like FREEDOM.

I don't remember the second cel start up nearly as much as the first cel.  First cel cut through the quiet and darkness like a hot knife, straight to my heart.  I wasn't sad.  NO.  Not one bit!  I was proud.  I sat there in the noise, letting it over take me.  The rumble.  The amount of power that was coursing out of those jets enveloped me.  It was as if the earth was shaking.  I realized now that I was getting pretty chilled in the dark of night and I was starting to shiver.  It was hard to tell if I was shivering from cold or from shear exhilaration of what I was witnessing, or like a tuning fork was vibrating with the enormous energy surrounding me.


Now all the jets are started.  I could imagine them going through all their check lists getting ready for the flight.  Cel one is the first to depart to the runway.  With the blinking lights and rumbling engines.  They pull further into darkness.  Further away from us.

They sit rumbling at the end of the runway, talking to the tower I imagine.  Talking to each other making sure every one was good to go.  Then it starts.  One by one in quick succession roar into the night.  The bright orange glow from their engines briefly light up the night and then following the orange glow into the darkness and then gone.

Cel 2 does the same thing.  Wait at the end of the runway and then one by one roar into the night.  Then silence.  It was almost deafening.  I was hoping as a group they would all fly overhead so I could once again be in proximity to my warrior one more time.  But they were gone.  They were focused.  They were on a mission and I was on mine.

I am pulled back to the here and now.  Back from the memories that feel like it was a few weeks ago yet a lifetime ago because the amount of living that has occurred.  It is hard to believe that it is coming to an end shortly.  I am trying to manage my kids excitement and remind them to be flexible.  Everything is subject to change.  As I remind them I am reminding myself.


How I long to hear that rumble.  How I long to feel it course through me.  I imagine my hubby and wonder what he's thinking.  I am sure he is going over his check list, checking with tower and what ever thousand things they need to do to be safe.  He is not off on a tactical mission this time.  He is coming home...he is coming HOME.  I can't imagine what is going through their minds.  Six plus months ago they were headed off to a set of missions.  Now they are headed home.  I bet they are doing what a lot of us are doing right now....

I will not get excited,
I will not get excited.

jackie