Hey, I just met you and this is crazy...

Normally this is something I would face at the beginning of a new school year, but we actually aren't moving this year and I had to register my youngest for Kindergarten.  Going through all the registration forms was the dreaded Emergency Contact form.  As my military friends know, the fear doesn't stem from the actual emergency itself.  In many cases it is, "I wonder if this person will mind if I put them down on this form" or IF we actually know anyone to put down in the first place.

I realized as I filled out my form I am going to have to update my three other kid's forms again this year, as another friend is moving, same as last year.  Thankfully time at a duty station gives you the ability to build a network to pull from, to add to that list.  First arriving at a new duty station, that is a different story.

I vividly remember moving to a new duty station, across the country far from family and friends.   I had a 3 month old and a 3 year old.  The 3 year old had previously been in school in our last duty station, so I signed her up at our new location.  Then they put the form in front of me.  Who can we contact in case of an emergency...crickets.  I knew no one.  Not a soul.  When we moved to  our previous duty station I knew one person, I didn't realize that one person can make a huge difference. Because here I am, with a blank form and a blank mind.

Then I thought about the woman who came to check out our floor plan (as these were new houses lucky me) and our hubbies we going to work together.  She was a mom with two kids, one my oldest age. My hubby spoke highly of hers.  So, should I ask her?  What is she going to think of me?  I just met her!!  They seem like good people and their kids are alive and thriving, one is the same age.  She's going to think I am a horrible mother trusting my precious children with a stranger. Gulp....

"Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but can I put you down on my emergency contact form."

The response came immediately, no awkward pause, no let me think about it.  An immediate YES and can I put you down on mine was the reply.

Relief!  What I feared what would be met with was judgement was met with a sigh of relief, understanding and acceptance.

This wasn't the last time this has happened.  This happens often in military life.  We make friends quickly. Our kids make friends quickly.  We learn to trust our inner voice on who is safe and who is not.  We have to.  We move too much and too far to not trust our instincts.  One of our duty stations was 10 months long across the country to and across the country from we go ping ponging coasts as we went, never knowing who we are going to meet on the flip side.  Time moves fast.

So for all my non military friends, please don't think us a weird bunch.  Especially if we immediately ask to put you on our list.  It doesn't mean we are really desperate, it means we saw something in you in our brief interaction that made us feel that we could ask and we could really use the help.  So thank you.  Thanks to all those non military friends that let us dive right into your lives, to make you like family and of course put you on our emergency contact list.

I have made it a point, because I remember that initial fear the first time I had to ask, that when I meet a new spouse who has just moved here and doesn't know many (if any) people ...

"Hey, I just met you and this is crazy, but please feel free to use me on your emergency contact list".  

jackie